Tuesday, September 03, 2013|| On reclaiming adulthood

I enjoy watching a TED Talk by Meg Jay, "Why 30 is not the new 20". She gives three pieces of advice for how twentysomethings can reclaim adulthood in the defining decade of their lives.

I consider this as a reminder that everything we do in our twenties pretty much shapes what we will become next.
"Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. By getting identity capital, I mean do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that's an investment in who you might want to be next. No one knows the future of work, but I do know this: identity capital begets identity capital. So now is the time for that cross-country job, that internship, that start-up you want to try. I am not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count, which by the way, is not exploration. That is procrastination. Explore work and make it count.  
Urban tribe is overrated. Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak and where they work. That new piece of capital, that new person to date, almost always comes from outside the inner circle. New things come from what are called are weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. So yes, half of twentysomethings un- or underemployed. But half are not, and that weak ties are how you get yourself into that group. Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out to your neighbor's boss is how you get that un-posted job. It is not cheating. It is the science of how information spreads.  
The time to start picking your family is now. Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one. That means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want, rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you."
My additional note on this matter, to help easing the process of reclaiming adulthood, is to understand that it is not only what we know from school that counts, but also willingness and ability to continuously learn new things in life. Pick your area of expertise, be a specialist, but keep a generalist mindset.

Moreover, to not compare ourselves with everyone else. What constitutes value to life is subjective from person to person.

3:32 AM |