Tentang Hati Ini dan Sebuah Perjalanan

Thursday, February 04, 2010|| Learn as if you were (not) here forever

Yesterday i chatted with Dita through Yahoo Messenger. She is going back to Indonesia on Saturday and will stay there until the semester break is over. To be honest, i was quite envious. She will stay in warm Jakarta for nearly two months, while i am struggling with this mean cold windy Tokyo. But, that feeling did not last long as Dita offered to bring me bumbu pecel when she is back. I am desperately missing pecel and gado-gado.

(Back in college days in Bandung, i used to go to Pecel Madiun booth near Gedung Sate almost every Saturday morning. Oh, i miss that routine.)

Later at night, Uqi called me. She is also going back home on mid February for two weeks. I started to feel envious again, but tried to fix in mind that there is no reason to feel that way. I will have the Kyoto & Nara trip, upcoming satellite seminar, and more importantly must save money to buy laptop, so there is no more room for an expensive plane ticket.

Then, this morning as i passed the construction site near the campus front gate, i saw some writings on the construction site wall : "Learn as if you were to be in Tokyo Tech forever". The first thing that crossed my mind, hell no, i won't stay here forever. Alvin and Rubel also said the exact same things when i showed this picture to them. Yes, we know there is an 'as if' word, means that it is only parable sentence. Still, the idea of it scared us the most.

I think whoever has that idea should have said it the other way. Isn't it better to say : "Learn as if you were not in Tokyo Tech forever."? Somehow we appreciate things that come in short run more, don't we? That is why Mahatma Gandhi said, "Live as if you will die tomorrow."

Suddenly, i feel empty. I want to go home, just like Dita and Uqi. No matter how hard i deny the longing for home, still feel it. Hhhhh. I guess, the older we get, must know better that we can not have everything the way we want it.

Anyway, about the Japanese writing below the questionable sentence.. i am not sure what it means since my Japanese language ability is as low as the new-born Japanese baby. I guess it means : "If your life is 100 cm long, what will 4 cm mean to you."

Am i right, no?

I just watched my first rugby match. Thanks to Mas Farid who kindly gave us those free tickets! It was final game of Toshiba vs Sanyo team, held in Chichibunomiya Rugby Stadium.

I did not understand the rules of the game at all. William tried to explain how it played, what offside and touchdown meant.. but still, i had no clue what was going on. It seemed to me that Rugby might just be a way for boys to bully each others on the field. Hehe. However, i did know that it was kinda slow game. It was obvious that Toshiba team was way better than Sanyo, they won quite easily.

Even without knowing the rules of the game, i enjoyed watching it. The players were one of the reasons. Look at those muscles, ladies! :)

After the game, we went straightly to Shibuya and had late lunch in Thai restaurant. I forgot how spicy a Thai food can be, especially when i have not ate any spicy food on the last 4 months.

Then we split up. Sissy, Hilda, Mas Sandy, Mba Akino, Mas Goyo and I went to Book-Off, while the others went home. I found Something Blue and Something Borrowed in the store sold for only 300 yen each. Yeay! From now on, second-hand book store will be one of my favorite places in Tokyo :)

Sissy bought the series of Marian Keyes' books which i also love. I was tempted to buy them as well, but successfully pulled myself together. With paper deadline coming on May, this is clearly not a good time to pamper myself with fictions.

Oh, what a lovely Sunday!

I put '500 Days of Summer' in my favorite movie list. It is sad painful movie, yet I love it so so much.

The movie tells story about a couple, Tom and Summer. Tom is a greeting-card writer who dreams of becoming an architect and finding his true love. He claims he will never be happy until he finds ‘the one’. The other character, Summer, is a vintage-looking beauty who does not believe in love since the disintegration of her parent's marriage.

The story goes as Tom remembers his 500 days with Summer, his mind jumps from moment to moment in his relationship. The narrator has warned us since the beginning that this movie will not end happily, “This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story."

Tom falls in love with Summer since the first time he saw her in the office. Summer is a new assistant in the greeting-card company where Tom works. After some time of flirtation and nervousness, they get along pretty well. It starts with a kiss in a photocopy room, then it leads to shopping trip to IKEA, then dinners and movies. Despite all the happiness, Summer repeatedly reminds Tom that she is “not looking for anything serious”; and Tom's response is exactly like ours in the reality : he chooses to ignore the warning.

Tom : Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency. I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer : And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

The climax of the story started when Summer delivers the news that she is breaking up with Tom. Like we all already predicted, it catches Tom off-guarded. He confused and broken-hearted. He can’t decide between getting over her or.. getting her back.

Guess what he chose? Yes, like the pain has not yet enough, he decides to get her back. He insists that Summer is his soul mate and he just can not see it the other way around. At this point, somehow i hoped that they will get back together... but they are not. Tom has to face it once again that Summer, the love of his life, will never love him the way she used to. Never.

Summer is marrying another guy she met at the deli months after the break-up. So, yes, Tom get his heart broken again. He quits his job, mourns for days.. until he finally understands that he is the one who has to grow up, forget about Summer and move on with his life.

I read a quote from Nick Hornby’s book ‘A Long Way Down’ : “The cure of unhappiness is happiness.” I guess that is how Marc Webb decided to put an end to Tom’s unhappiness : he eventually moves on to another girl.

I love the movie. I really do. But, I can not help but hate Summer. I do not understand why she has to be so mean. I do not understand why she did what she did. I think Tom just needs to get an explanation of her behavior, except he never gets one. At the end of the story, Tom asks Summer why she decided to be someone’s wife when she hated to be someone’s boyfriend at the first place. This is how Summer answers.

Summer : I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom : Knew what?
Summer : What I was never sure of with you.

Bam.

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Even though it is sad, depressing and painful, the movie taught me something that I should have known 4 years earlier : love can be confusing, contingent, unfair, and most importantly.. how love can fail.